After witnessing a number of strange events–Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!–Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate.
And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.Īnd thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up of Twilight. Second, there was a vampire part of him–which I assumed was wildly out of his control–that wanted me dead.
First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. About three things I was absolutely certain.
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